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Longasc
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Post by Longasc » Wed Oct 05, 2011 6:20 am

I just read that the spelling might be intended as a joke, but can't help, without voiceover it gets lost.

I still think the whole briefing is phrased awkwardly and should be re-written. And maybe the whole scenario be canned entirely, at least for campaign mode.
Or Warsaw DV giving the option to skip it. Don't like it at all - see my thread about that.

http://img26.imageshack.us/img26/2763/spoilsofwar.jpg
- focusing on the text errors.
Last edited by Longasc on Wed Oct 05, 2011 6:55 am, edited 1 time in total.

Kerensky
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Post by Kerensky » Wed Oct 05, 2011 6:25 am

Longasc wrote:Or Warsaw DV giving the option to skip it.
This I agree with. The fictional scenario of DLC 1940 has the option to be skipped, and I plan for future fictional 'bonus' scenarios of DLCs to be able to be skipped if a player so chooses, so going back and changing Spoils of War to fit this is not a problem.

Longasc
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Post by Longasc » Wed Oct 05, 2011 3:21 pm

A native speaker should look at the short scenario descriptions. I think Oslo, Lillehammer and Narvik miss a "The" at the beginning of the sentence but I am not sure. This is also true for Poznan: "German invasion of Poland begins." Shouldn't it be "The German invasion of Poland begins." ?

Ah well, let's do a complete list for the short descriptions of the scenarios:

Poznan: German Invasion of Poland begins.
-> The German invasion of Polands begins.

Danzig Corridor S: With the Danzig Corridor secured, Germany continued to advance down the Vistula River.
-> continues (should be Present Tense imo)

Danzig Corridor N: Germany seeks to reunite with East Prussia by crushing the Danzig Corridor.
-> OK

Lodz: Germans Forces advance on Lodz and the Bzura River
-> German forces advance on Lodz and the Bzura River.

Piatek: Polish forces counterattack across the Bzura to flank Germans en route to Warsaw
-> Polish forces counter-attack across the Bzura to flank Germans en route to Warsaw.

Kampinoska Forest: Phase one of the German plan to isolate Warsaw.
-> OK. But maybe another description? It's exactly the same as for Wyszogrod.

Modlin: Phase two of the German plan to isolate Warsaw.
-> OK. But wonder if Modlin Fortress shouldn't be mentioned in the briefing as well.

Warsaw North/South: Assault on the Polish Capital
-> OK, but add a "." at the end.

The Spoils of War: The Iron Cross and Red Star skirmish over the remains of Poland.
-> either "the Red Star" or without metaphora, simply "Germany and Russia skirmish over the remains of Poland.

Oslo: German Invasion of Noway Begins
-> The German invasion of Norway begins.

Lillehammer: German advance into Norway reaches Lillehammer
-> The German advance reaches Lillehammer. (I would omit "into Norway")

Narvik: Final act in the Norway Drama
-> The final act in the Norway drama.
I wonder if "Denmark and Norway 1940: Hitler's Boldest Operation" was the inspiration for the "final act" description. :)

Eben-Emael: Surprise attack on the Fortress at Eben-Emael
-> Surprise attack on Fort Eben-Emael.
It's not a fortress near a city called Eben-Emael, it is a fort of this name. Just like Fort Lauderdale, X, Y, Z etc..
(Sorry, just realized that Fort Lauderdale is a city... I just lack a better example... how about Fort McHenry then. ;) )

Albert Canal: German advance continues into Belgium and meets Allied resistance
-> The German advance into Belgium faces Allied resistance.

The Hague: German Army moves towards the Hague to relieve a failed paratrooper operation.
-> The German Army advances towards The Hague to relieve a failed paratrooper operation.
(I wonder if "failed airborne assault" would also be appropriate for this scenario?)

Sedan: Panzers attempt a daring break through of the French lines at Sedan
-> Panzers attempt to break through the French lines at Sedan.
or
A daring attempt to break through the French lines at Sedan.

Maubeuge: German forces exploit the breakthrough at Sedan to sieze Lille.
-> seize, not sieze.

Arras: The BEF attemps to Counter-attack at Arras
-> The British Expeditionary Forces (BEF) counter-attack at Arras.

Calais: The BEF begins to evacuate the continent at Calais.
-> Hm... how about "The evacuation of Allied forces from ports in western France."

Stonne: French attempt to counter-attack the bridgehead at Sedan
-> add a "."

Wassigny: German advance overtakes and captures General Giraud
-> General Giraud gets captured by advancing German forces.
or ... if someone only plays the scenario, is there are General Giraud at all?
"The German advance reaches Wassigny." sounds a bit bland, but no better idea atm.

Amiens: German advance through France reaches the English Channel
-> The German advance through France reaches the English Channel. (just a ".")
hehe, sounds almost like my suggestion for Wassigny.

Dunkirk: Without the order to halt their advance, German Panzers move to force the pocket at Dunkirk to surrender
-> hmm... that's the fictional scenario where Germany would not have let the BEF escape, right?
"The German Panzers don't stop their advance to prevent the BEF at Dunkirk from escaping."

Reims: With their allies gone, France stands alone to prevent a German breakthrough aimed at the heart of the country.
-> OK. Damn, Kerensky must have eaten a poet for breakfast or who wrote this? :)

Dijon: Panzers flood South as French resistance begins to disintegrate
-> OK, add a "." or make it "Panzers flood South as French resistance begins to crumble."
I just can't stand the word disintegrate.

Maginot Line: Forts of the Maginot Line, the once first line of defense and shield of France, are the last to fall in the French campaign.
-> The Forts of the Maginot Line, once the first line of defense, are the last to fall in the Battle of France.


Voilà! :)

Longasc
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Post by Longasc » Wed Oct 05, 2011 6:56 pm

Narvik scenario:

Hex 34,14: Norweigan Town
-> Norwegian Town

29,11: same
20,15: ... seems EVERY Norwegian Town is a Norweigan Town

Nitpicking: KMS Name
The Kriegsmarine of Nazi Germany had no prefix unlike the SMS of the Kaiserreich. Sometimes people use "DKM" for "Deutsche Kriegsmarine" or "KMS" for "Kriegsmarine Schiff" but I think "Gneisenau", "Scharnhorst" and "Admiral Hipper" do it, no need to add "KMS" and make it "KMS Gneisenau".

Kerensky
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Post by Kerensky » Wed Oct 05, 2011 7:05 pm

Longasc wrote:Narvik scenario:

Hex 34,14: Norweigan Town
-> Norwegian Town

29,11: same
20,15: ... seems EVERY Norwegian Town is a Norweigan Town

Nitpicking: KMS Name
The Kriegsmarine of Nazi Germany had no prefix unlike the SMS of the Kaiserreich. Sometimes people use "DKM" for "Deutsche Kriegsmarine" or "KMS" for "Kriegsmarine Schiff" but I think "Gneisenau", "Scharnhorst" and "Admiral Hipper" do it, no need to add "KMS" and make it "KMS Gneisenau".
Easy fix, for Norwegian Towns. Done.

Longasc
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Post by Longasc » Wed Oct 05, 2011 7:55 pm

Made a screenshot of a grammatical error in the "Lillehammer" campaign scenario debriefing related to the first sentence which should be "proved to be an overwhelming victory."

Related: Photoshop now has hardware acceleration and apparently doesn't like the latest Nvidia driver. A fatal crash when using the text tool was the result. :shock: I was totally scared that my graphics card just got toasted but it seems fine. :)

Kerensky
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Post by Kerensky » Wed Oct 05, 2011 7:57 pm

<p>Congratulations, Herr General! Your first battle against the mighty British has proved to be an overwhelming victory. Most of coastal and now central Norway is under our control now, but our initial landings at Narvik have not gone to plan. Order your forces North, Herr General, one final task remains to finish this campaign!</p>

I don't think it was wrong before, but no need to argue over such a minor detail. Sounds better this way anyways.
Done.

Longasc
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Post by Longasc » Thu Oct 06, 2011 4:31 pm

Eben-Emael
Briefing:
Fallschirmjager -> Fallschirmjäger
Maastrict -> Maastricht
Map:
Hex 13,4 Maastrict -> Maastricht

Albert Canal
Briefing: OK
Map:
9,9 Heist-op-den-berg -> Heist-op-den-Berg
15,2 Diest -> Dries
18,18 Sint-Truiden -> could not be found on the map, maybe this city got renamed after WW2.

Kerensky
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Post by Kerensky » Thu Oct 06, 2011 8:19 pm

Not all of these text changes will make the upcoming version, like Maastricht its too late, but they should be ready once we hit the final version that is open to everyone.

OmegaMan1
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Post by OmegaMan1 » Fri Oct 07, 2011 1:25 am

In the Oslo post-scenario briefing: the sentence that reads, "...with the Oslo and the Oscarborg fortress taken..." should read either (a) "with the Oslo and Oscarborg fortresses taken" or (b) "with Oslo and the Oscarborg fortress taken."

Kerensky
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Post by Kerensky » Fri Oct 07, 2011 1:50 am

dshaw62197 wrote:In the Oslo post-scenario briefing: the sentence that reads, "...with the Oslo and the Oscarborg fortress taken..." should read either (a) "with the Oslo and Oscarborg fortresses taken" or (b) "with Oslo and the Oscarborg fortress taken."
Got it. Removed 'the' before Oslo.

Also went and fixed up the minor victory text for Oslo too.

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Post by El_Condoro » Sun Oct 09, 2011 1:26 pm

Kampinoska Forest
Briefing:
1. "east" not "East"
2. "troop trains" not "Troop Trains"
3. "besiege", not "siege" (Warsaw)

These may have already been fixed but here they are again.

Longasc
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Post by Longasc » Sun Oct 09, 2011 6:34 pm

Sedan:

Pussmange -> Pussemange
Charleville-Mezieres is okay, but is Charleville-Mézières not possible?


Maginot Line

Saarbrucken -> Saarbrücken (several hexes)

OmegaMan1
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Post by OmegaMan1 » Tue Oct 11, 2011 1:48 am

From the Hague briefing:

1. In the second paragraph, the line that reads "...they have failed," replace the comma with a colon.
2. Later, the line that reads, "...forces you encounter," replace the comma with a semicolon.

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Post by OmegaMan1 » Tue Oct 11, 2011 5:34 am

From the Sedan briefing:

1. In the first line, "Time time has come..." should be "The time has come."
2. A bit later, in the line "...they least expect it..." put a colon after "it."
3. In the second paragraph, on the second mention of the "Meuse river" capitalize "river."
4. In the third paragraph, combine "break through" into one word (it's a single word as a noun; two words is the verb form).

Kerensky
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Post by Kerensky » Tue Oct 11, 2011 6:41 am

I think i've got everything up to this post covered, but as in the base game, no accent markers for letters on city names.

Longasc
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Post by Longasc » Tue Oct 11, 2011 12:35 pm

Arras (map):

Ervilers -> Ervillers
Lambres-lez-Douai -> Lambres-Lez-Douai
Toumai -> Tournai

Longasc
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Post by Longasc » Wed Oct 12, 2011 10:28 am

Calais scenario:

Walten -> Watten

Erik2
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Oslo - proposed changes

Post by Erik2 » Wed Oct 12, 2011 11:03 am

In the interest of a historically (more) correct scenario that should still be balanced (and maybe even more fun :D ).

Airfield 3,21 = Kjevik.
Airfield 14,5 = Fornebu. Move airfield to Sandvika 13,6.
Airfield 19,10 = Kjeller. Move airfield to Lillestrøm 18,6.
Askim 18,11 = Mysen.
Add airfield Gardermoen on 17,2.
Remove airfield at 4,10.
Add port Drøbak on 15,11.

Add coastal fort Rauøy (strength 5) on 16,16.
Add coastal fort Bolærne (strength 5) on 13,14.
Reduce strength from 7 to 5 for Oscarsborg on 14,10 and rename to Kopås.
Move Oscarsborg on 15,10 to 13,11.
Delete forts/strongholds on 15,9 + 16,10 + 15,11.

Rename unit on 10,19 to Larvik Sikring (and optionally reduce strength to 5).
Add Schnellboote unit to 10,20 strength 5 and name unit 3.Torpedobåt.
Rename unit on 7,17 to Porsgrunn Sikring (and optionally reduce strength to 5).
Add unit 40mm Bofors strength 5 to 7,18 and name unit Herøya Luftvern.
Delete artillery unit on 10,18.
Delete AA unit on 11,18
Rename unit on 13,15 to Tønsberg Sikring (and optionally reduce strength to 5).
Add Schnellboote unit to 14,16 strength 5 and name unit 1.Minesveiper.
Add Sub unit to 14,17 strength 5 and name unit 1.Undervannsbåt.
Rename unit on 13,13 to Horten Sikring (and optionally reduce strength to 5).
Add unit 40mm Bofors strength 5 to 12,14 and name unit Horten Luftvern.
Add Light Cruiser strength 5 to 13,12 and name unit Tordenskjold.
Rename Inf unit at 4,12 to II/3.Telemark, change strength from 5 to 10 and set arrival to turn 2.
Replace AA unit at 4,10 with 75/76mm AA, rename to Kongsberg Luftvern and move to 5,11.
Replace Inf unit at 13,6 with a Biplane Fighter unit (ie CR 42) strength 5 and name unit Flygerbataljonen.
Add small calibre AA unit at 13,6 strength 5 and name unit Fornebu Luftvern.
Delete AA unit at 14,5.
Rename Inf unit at 15,6 to HMK Garde (optionally increase experience).
Add AA unit 75mm Bofors strength 5 to 14,6 and name unit Oslo Luftvern.
Replace Art unit at 15,5 with Inf unit strength 5 and name unit Gamst/Kongsvinger.
Add Biplane Fighter unit at 18,6 strength 5 and name unit Speidervingen.
Add AA unit 75mm Bofors strength 5 to 18,6 and name unit Kjeller Luftvern.
Remove Inf unit at 18,11.
Add Fort unit to 18,11 strength 10 and name unit Trøgstad Fort.
Add 12cm Art unit w/trucks strength 10 on 19,11 and name unit 1.Motorisert Artilleri.
Add 10.5cm Art unit w/trucks strength 10 on 19,10 and name unit 2.Motorisert Artilleri.
Add Inf unit on 15,11 strength 5 and name unit 1.Landvern/2.Reg.
Rename unit on 15,13 to 2.Landvern/2.Reg (optionally reduce strength to 5).
Add Inf unit strength 10 on 17,16 and name unit Landvern/1.Reg.
Add 7.5cm (or 12cm) Art unit strength 10 on 17,15 and name unit II/1.Artilleri.
Add Fort unit strength 5 on 18,16 and name unit Ravneberget Batteri.
Add Fort unit strength 5 on 18,14 and name unit Greåker Fort.
Replace Inf unit on 12,3 with Engineer unit strength 5 and name unit 4.Ingeniør.
Rename Inf unit on 18,3 to II/5.Oppland.
Add Biplane Fighter unit on 17,2 strength 5 and name unit Flygeskolen.
Add Cav unit on 17,2 strength 10 and name unit 1.Dragon Reg.

The Gruppe V Kriegsmarine with destination Oslo should consist of:
Heavy Cruisers Blücher and Lützow
Light Cruiser Emden (and Leipzig as an option)
Schnellboote (Torpedo boats) Albatross, Kondor and Möwe.
One Raumboote flotilla, probably best represented by one Schnellboote unit.
(The cruisers Köln and Königsberg were not available at Oslo, nor the destroyers).

Rename the two Fallschirmjäger units on 16,18 and 10,23 to Schmidt and Gröschke.
Rename the He111 unit 15,23 to KG4.
Rename the Pioniere unit on 17,19 to 234.Pionier.
Rename the Art unit on 15,20 to I/234.Art.
Rename the Art unit on 11,21 to II/234.Art.
Rename the Pz unit on 16,19 to Burstin (name of commander) and change strength to 5.
Rename the Pz unit on 15,19 to Tölke and change strength to 5.
Replace the PzIIIF unit on 11,21 with PzIV strength 5(experimental PzIVA) and rename unit to Horstmann.
Add PzI unit strength 5 and name unit Niedrick.
Rename Ju87 unit on 9,23 to I/StG1.
Replace Ju87 unit on 13,23 with Bf110C and rename unit to I/ZG76.
Rename BF109 unit on 14,23 to II/JG77.

That's all :shock:
Erik

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Post by AgentX » Wed Oct 12, 2011 6:50 pm

@Erik, wow, that is a lot of changes. One thing, though, this thread is for text changes and you are proposing major gameplay/map changes. You may want to start a separate thread for these type changes. Also, pics might help. You could make a copy of the map, then open it up in the Editor and make your changes. Then, you could make screenshots which would make it easier to see some of the changes.
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