DLC '44 West text corrections

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Longasc
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DLC '44 West text corrections

Post by Longasc » Mon Nov 05, 2012 10:44 am

If you spotted spelling errors or other mistakes in briefings and scenarios, report them here.

Kamerer
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Re: DLC '44 West text corrections

Post by Kamerer » Mon Nov 05, 2012 6:02 pm

Anzio:

Last message re: minefields - should be " Because of your success...". It's an adverbial phrase modifying "in defending." "Due to" is used when an adjective is needed, "Because of" when an adverb is required.

monkspider
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Re: DLC '44 West text corrections

Post by monkspider » Tue Nov 06, 2012 2:50 am

The briefing for Anzio says something like "flanking out the Gustav Line" when it should be "outflanking the Gustav Line."

Kamerer
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Re: DLC '44 West text corrections

Post by Kamerer » Wed Nov 07, 2012 1:45 am

Arnhem - Nijmegen is mis-spelled in bold text in mission briefing.

Also in briefing: "...all access to the Arnhem bridge,..."

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Re: DLC '44 West text corrections

Post by monkspider » Wed Nov 07, 2012 2:57 am

The message that you get when you get the two convoys of precious relics to the transport zone says "..send their sincere gratitude for evacuated the last...", it should be "evacuating".

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Re: DLC '44 West text corrections

Post by monkspider » Wed Nov 07, 2012 3:03 am

"Maintaining sufficient strength in this region to maintain our hold. may tax our reserves too far.." is too many maintains. I would recommend "Continuing to maintain sufficient strength in this region may tax our reserves too far."

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Re: DLC '44 West text corrections

Post by Kerensky » Fri Nov 09, 2012 5:22 am

As always, we appreciate your diligence in catching these typos. If there are any more such errors, please let us know!

LostAgain
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Re: DLC '44 West text corrections

Post by LostAgain » Fri Nov 09, 2012 7:24 am

Hmmmm....I already posted some of these but they appear to be lost in the ether, so here goes again!

St. Lo Briefing: States "Your objective is to prevent no more than 7 Allied ground units from breaking your lines and escaping to the south."

Should say "Your objective is to ALLOW no more than 7 Allied ground units TO BREAK THROUGH your lines and escape to the south."
Last edited by LostAgain on Fri Nov 09, 2012 7:38 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: DLC '44 West text corrections

Post by LostAgain » Fri Nov 09, 2012 7:36 am

Caen

Briefing states: "Should battling for Caen prove less than fruitful, you may considering some flanking maneuvres to the North or South of the city, just be on alert for possible similar tactics from the Allies as well."

Should say: "Should battling for Caen prove less than fruitful you may CONSIDER some flanking maneuvres to the north or south of the city, just be on THE alert for THE POSSIBILITY OF similar tactics from the Allies."

Including "as well" is redundant and for some reason North and South are both capitalized in the briefing as well. I also removed the unnecessary comma after fruitful.

Longasc
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Re: DLC '44 West text corrections

Post by Longasc » Sat Nov 10, 2012 9:53 am

This is based on Beta 2:

ANZIO
Anzio.pzloc
(EDIT: My mistake, removed this)
IDS_STRING34 Conca.
-> Conca without .
Briefings: All OK, but some questions:
-> 525 Experience limit -> isn't 500 the max?
-> maybe add the extra info "historically, Operation Shingle was a failure for all sides (...)" to AnzioD_loss.pzbrf as well.

ARNHEM
Arnhem.pzloc
Briefings: All OK
I really appreciate the extra effort that went into the scenario briefings, very nice.
Last edited by Longasc on Sat Nov 10, 2012 6:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

ThvN
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Re: DLC '44 West text corrections

Post by ThvN » Sat Nov 10, 2012 3:08 pm

I'm baaack :mrgreen: . I didn't comment here earlier as I decided to do a playthrough first to get some early feedback out (Kamerer looked so lonely holding the front on his own) and only then start digging through the texts. All my proposed corrections are for the beta2, I threw away al my notes when the new beta2 became available and started fresh on the new texts to prevent confusion.

And congratulations, the general quality of the (de)briefings and texts has improved, even I could find little wrong with them, but alas, nothing is ever perfect. I will mention only very few stylistical issues, the bulk presented here is solid, old-fashioned typos, punctuation, grammar, spelling and copy/paste errors.

I have not yet dissected the scenario messages, although I see Longasc has already taken that task upon him, so I might skip them. If it is wanted I will check them as well, just let me know. Any other comments are welcome, I changed my template again in response to the feedback on my postings in the previous DLC, I might get it right someday. Enjoy!


CassinoA.pzbrf
“...who would most likely mistake these trucks as a military convoy.”

mistake these trucks for a military convoy

“I highly suggest you scatter these mines in the eastern most deployment zones,”

easternmost (single word)

CassinoB_decisive.pzbrf
“We plan for you to continue to block the Allied advance here for a long as possible…”

as long as possible

CassinoC_marginal.pzbrf
“Your performance here has bought us some time

some time (the briefing has an excess space between the words)

“We plan for you to continue to block the Allied advance here for a long as possible…”

as long as possible


EindhovenA.pzbrf
“…and is now advancing North towards Nijmegen and Arnhem with the clear intent of relieving their airborne forces…”

north (without capital letter)

EindhovenB_decisive.pzbrf
“You have managed an outstanding response to an overly ambition plan by our enemies!”

ambitious

EindhovenD_loss.pzbrf
“Considering the disorganized nature of this latest Allied venture, we had hoped for a much better performance, Herr General.”

venture, we (briefing has excess space after the comma)

FalaiseB_decisive.pzbrf
However it is quite clear that the fight for Normandy is over, and our best energies would be best spent to move our forces across the Seine River.”

However, it (note comma)

and our energies would be best spent

“You will be quite safe so far behind the lines, so be sure use this downtime to its utmost.”

so be sure to use this downtime

FalaiseC_marginal.pzbrf
“...and our best energies would be best spent to move our forces across the Seine River.”

and our energies would be best spent

“You will be quite safe so far behind the lines, so be sure use this downtime to its utmost.”

so be sure to use this downtime

Monte CassinoA.pzbrf
“we've moved in some of our elite Fallschirmjager to entrench themselves in the ruins.”

Fallschirmjäger (or if a+Umlaut (ascii:132) is impossible: Fallschirmjaeger)

Monte CassinoB_decisive.pzbrf
Monte CassinoC_marginal.pzbrf
However by this point…”

However, by this point (note the comma)

MontelimarA.pzbrf
“Your objective is escort at all 5 Auxiliary Convoy units to the marked evacuation zones in the north.”

escort all 5 Auxiliary Convoy units

MontelimarC_marginal.pzbrf
Try as the Allies might, they will have an extremely difficult time trying to catch up to and trap our withdrawal anymore.

delete “anymore”. It is synonymous to “any longer” or “no longer”, and mostly used with a negative statement, like so: “they won’t be able to catch up anymore”. As a quick test, any phrase or word you use in that place in this sentence should also be able to be put in front of it, like “for now”, or “from now on”.

NijmegenB_decisive.pzbrf
NijmegenC_marginal.pzbrf
“One final tasks awaits you, prepare your forces!”

task

St. LoA.pzbrf
“With the bulk of our force fighting for Caen, we've had to leave only a token reserve further West, here in St. Lo.”

west (no capital letter)

“Your objective is prevent 7 or more Allied Ground units from breaking your lines and escaping to the South.”

is to prevent

south (no capital letter)


ToulonA.pzbrf
“we could have our own Sealion plus some extra left overs!”

leftovers (single word)

Villers-BocageA.pzbrf
“and we've learned that the formation leader has begun and impromptu ambush of the British forces.”

an

“Your objective is to guide Heavy Battalion's Tiger Tank as it performs a search and destroy operation against Allied command units in the vicinity. This special Tiger should have no difficulty even against the most stubborn Allied resistance, which any Command Unit you encounter is sure to have in abundance,…”

tank (no capital letter)

about the spelling of command units, it is more consistent to use capital letters for both or for neither (it is a mission objective so capital letters would be clearer I guess)

Longasc
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Re: DLC '44 West text corrections

Post by Longasc » Sat Nov 10, 2012 7:13 pm

ThvN, you absolutely should check everything. I am no native speaker after all, and the more people check the more mistakes we can find.

BAYEUX:
All OK. - This is why more people should check, there might not be everything OK, regardless what I just said! :)

BEACHES OF NORMANDY:
All OK.

CAEN:
All OK, has been corrected since Beta1.

CASSINO:
Cassino.pzloc
DS_MESSAGE0 The Abbot and monks of Monte Cassino send their sincere gratitude for evacuating the last of their relics and populace from the combat zone. Although this action changes nothing in our conflict with the Allies, such efforts are invaluable for bolstering the pride, morale, and image of our combat forces. As a reward, High Command has authorized the transfer of a most a special unit to your command!
-> make it "of a very special unit" or at least scratch the "a" before special unit.
Briefings: OK
Last edited by Longasc on Mon Nov 12, 2012 2:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

ThvN
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Re: DLC '44 West text corrections

Post by ThvN » Sat Nov 10, 2012 8:09 pm

Longasc wrote:ThvN, you absolutely should check everything. I am no native speaker after all, and the more people check the more mistakes we can find.
Don't worry, I'll check. I'm no native English speaker, either, by the way. But you are right, it is better to check everything independently, far better chances to catch mistakes.
CASSINO:

Briefings: OK
I spotted some small errors in the Cassino briefing files, they are the first items in my list.
This is why more people should check, there might not be everything OK, regardless what I just said! :)
Are you trying to prove your own theory about not trusting your 'OK' to sneakily trick me into checking all those files :P ?

Longasc
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Re: DLC '44 West text corrections

Post by Longasc » Mon Nov 12, 2012 2:32 pm

EINDHOVEN:
Eindhoven.pzloc
IDS_STRING31 Wolfheeze
-> Wolfheze.
The same typo is also in Eindhovenalta.pzloc, Eindhovenalta2.pzloc and Eindhovenalta3.pzloc
BRIEFING:
EindhovenA.pzbrf:
The bad news is that the major body of Allied troops has overrun Eindhoven, and is now advancing North towards Nijmegen and Arnhem with the clear intent of relieving their airborne forces.
-> advancing north in small letters.
In addition to this, you should strive to eliminate any pockets of Allied airborne forces before British XXX Corps links up with them.
-> before THE British XXX Corps links up with them.

FALAISE:
BRIEFING:
FalaiseA.pzbrf
As your forces advance west, you will likely find yourself assaulted from all sides, so prepare for this inevitability to the best of your abilities.
-> Please no "inevitability" followed by "abilities", that's a mind and tongue twister, rather ", so prepare for the inevitable as good as you can."
FalaiseB.pzbrf + FalaiseC.pzbrf
Your counterstroke has reconnected previously isolated forces
-> counterstrike
but they had lost or were forced to abandon approximately 90% of their equipment .
-> equipment. (remove space between equipment and .)

MONTE CASSINO:
Monte CassinoB_decisive.pzbrf & Monte CassinoC_marginal.pzbrf
However by this point
-> However, by this point (comma)
Monte CassinoA.pzbrf
Fallschirmjager
-> OK, this is tricky: I know there are no "Umlaute" like "ä" possible and I honestly forgot how it got handled in Panzer Corps before: "ä" is usually replaced by "ae", so Fallschirmjaeger. Same for "Brummbär" -> "Brummbaer". http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brummb%C3%A4r

MONTELIMAR:
Montelimar.pzloc
IDS_SCEN_DESCRIPTION German retreat from Southern France runs afoul French resistance fighters backed by American troops
-> please rephrase, doesn't sound good and I am not sure if this sentence is correct at all.
Suggestion: Germans retreating from Southern France clash with French resistance fighters backed by American troops
BRIEFINGS:
MontelimarA.pzbrf
Your objective is escort at all 5 Auxiliary Convoy units to the marked evacuation zones in the north.
-> remove "at" all.
MontelimarC.pzbrf
Try as the Allies might, they will have an extremely difficult time trying to catch up to and trap our withdrawal anymore.
-> Rephrase this sentence, "anymore" isn't correct and "Try as the Allies might" (what?) is very confusing, I had to read this several times and still don't get it.
Suggestion: The Allies might try, but they will have an extremly difficult time to catch up and trap our withdrawing troops.

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Re: DLC '44 West text corrections

Post by Kamerer » Mon Nov 12, 2012 10:03 pm

Falaise pop-up message after taking objectives - against counter-attack.

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Re: DLC '44 West text corrections

Post by monkspider » Tue Nov 13, 2012 3:55 am

Not a text error per se, but I noticed that the SE 109K still has the old fuel stats of 35 instead of the updated 50+ that the unit was revised to.

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Re: DLC '44 West text corrections

Post by ThvN » Tue Nov 13, 2012 6:55 pm

Some strings and message corrections, first for the non-Dutch scenarios:

Anzio

Conca. (the name has a period behind it) = Should be plain ‘Conca’, remove period after name.

M. Canal = Mussolini Canal, but I assume there are rules against using the full name? If so, there is an altenative name floating about: http://www.tageo.com/index-e-it-v-00-d-m188353.htm or http://www.geographic.org/geographic_na ... 12&c=italy, Moscarello Canal

Message0: both in and outside of entrechments

entrenchments

Message1: we've made some minefields available for your use in your upcoming campaign.

This sentence is a bit contorted by using 'your' twice close together. Two alternatives:

available for your use in the upcoming campaign
available to you for use in your upcoming campaign


Cassino

Message0: transfer of a most a special unit

transfer of a most special unit


Falaise
Message0: prepare to hold them again enemy counter-attack!

prepare to hold them against enemy counter-attack!


St. Lo
Message0: Close the gaps in your line before more unit bypass your forces and victory is lost!

Close the gaps in your line before more units bypass your forces and victory is lost!


Toulon
St Raphael = Saint-Raphaël (or Saint-Raphael)

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Re: DLC '44 West text corrections

Post by ThvN » Tue Nov 13, 2012 7:21 pm

Arnhem

Wolfheeze = Wolfheze

Veenedaal = Veenendaal

Wijk Bij Duurstede = Wijk bij Duurstede (no capital letter in bij)

Message0: Arnhem Bridge Victory Hex has been removed!

This text does not show in the received in-game message.


Nijmegen, NijmegenAlt
Wolfheeze = Wolfheze

Veenedaal
= Veenendaal

Wijk Bij Duurstede = Wijk bij Duurstede

Cujik = Cuijk

Nijmegen only:
Message0: Arnhem Bridge Victory Hex has been removed!
This text is missing.


Eindhoven, EindhovenAltA, EindhovenAltA2, EindhovenAltA3
Wolfheeze = Wolfheze

Veenedaal = Veenendaal

Wijk Bij Duurstede = Wijk bij Duurstede

Cujik = Cuijk

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Re: DLC '44 West text corrections

Post by Kerensky » Fri Nov 16, 2012 6:26 am

Thanks again to everyone here for their assistance. We'll incorporate these fixes and some edits in the final version. In some cases though the text is acceptable as is, for example the use of 'counterstroke' is correct.

LostAgain
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Re: DLC '44 West text corrections

Post by LostAgain » Fri Nov 16, 2012 7:39 am

Falaise Beta II message states "Now that you have control of all objectives, prepare to hold them AGAIN enemy counter-attacks."
Should say: "Now that you have control of all objectives prepare to hold them AGAINST enemy counter-attacks." Besides the word change I've removed the unnecessary comma after objectives.

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