The Battle of Whirlpool Heights
Lining up in their traditional chequerboard pattern, the Romans faced large numbers of zealots and raw pike opposite them but offset toward the Roman right flank. As the legionaries began their march forward, the Jewish army quickly darted off even further wide of the Roman right flank. A brilliant strategy by the Jewish commander to occupy a high ridge behind a whirlpool that threatened to swallow one army or the other.
The Legatus gave the order to turn the legion through 90 degrees.
Actually, the Legatus simply had a quiet word with the Camp Prefect, who barked at the Primus Pilus, who then shouted very, very loudly until all the other Centurions cottoned on and echoed the command from cohort down to century with their own bellows.
Two neat rows of highly disciplined legionaries turned to their right and marched swiftly towards the ridge. The Lagatus could see the Jews massing on the ridge, but there wasn’t a lot of space for them and they weren’t professional enough to get themselves organised properly, the way an army like the Romans would. A large number of raw pike were leading the Jewish formation and served to bottle up the zealots behind. Ahead of the raw pike was a mass of light foot, with little space for them to manoeuvre.
Seeing a chance to strike the enemy lights and keep the pike bottled up with their best troops caged behind, the Legatus sent the cavalry reserve forward to engage the lights. At the same time, he detached a small vexillation of legionaries to march to the opposite end of the ridge where the Jewish commander had left a small rear-guard.
The Roman cavalry hammered into the lights, causing absolute chaos, and light troops were routing all over the place. Roman cavalry, despite having been given endless lessons on this, decided to pursue the routing lights through the packed Jewish army where they were guaranteed to be surrounded and slaughtered. They were lucky to be killed by the enemy, because they would not have had such an easy time of it had they returned to camp.
Pursuing routing enemy troops across an open field is one thing, but a desire to do so through a packed army to certain death is the sort of thing that should be queried on the application form for any prospective equites. Anyone ticking that box should instead be stripped naked, painted blue and sold to the Brits as surplus to requirements.
The legionaries arrived shortly after the cavalry and began a life and death struggle fighting their way uphill against the raw pike. Given the Jews were unable to bring many units to bear on such a narrow frontage it ought to have been a routine task, but no-one had told the raw pike that they were raw, clearly they had delusions of marching with Alexander’s army. Legionaries were soon turning and running, giving the Jews the space to loose their zealots on the remaining legionaries in the second rank.
The Roman position quickly disintegrated as the zealots and raw pike flanked the Romans on both sides. Never a pretty sight. One brave cohort, fragmented, but trying to hold the heights opposite managed to rally to good order and held back the tide like half of Moses with half of the Red Sea, but he was only one and they were many. These brave legionaries might all have received great honour for their courage that day, but for the fact Plutarch was on holiday and wasn’t there to record it.
At the other end of the ridge the Romans were having no such problems, cutting through the weak rear-guard, until (what’s the collective noun for a group zealots?) a dreary of zealots refused to let the legionaries past. Turn after turn they were hammered and refused to budge, turn after turn after turn, until finally they were reduced to a fragmented status. And yet still... fragmented and assailed on three sides, they continued to resist, turn after turn after turn until finally they auto-routed.
By the time the route was thrown open it was too late. The roman right had all but disintegrated and though the Roman left started to tear through the remainder of the rear-guard, they were having to fight a rear-guard action of their own, with their last surviving general holding back the Jewish tide, rather more successfully than Canute.
The battle was one that swirled around this whirlpool flanked by ridges, and in the end it was the sons of Romulus sucked to Hades through it.
This was an immensely enjoyable battle, as was my last with uneducated, and I am profoundly grateful to him for both the fun of the battle and the fun of the conversation as the battle unfolded.
Best Wishes
Mike
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